Comments on: Racism lol

By: ThRobert

ThRobert — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 00:09:56 +0000

Interesting stuff, Mike. Although I ascribe fully to the first above-stated unstated rule, I occasionally marvel at how genuinely (and often innocently) inexperienced we tend to be at dealing with all things involving racial integration. One can only hope it will continue to get easier…but lack of discussion doesn’t strike me as a way to eventually get there.

Then again I love to talk…

By: The Lidge

The Lidge — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:20:19 +0000

Obviously your intent is great. When that is so, your imagination is the limiter of discussion topics in your own culture or anywhere else. I believe that it takes quite a bit of energy to sustain any sort of wall around one’s self, and when someone comes by who has great intentions, makes those intentions public, and creates a positive environment to take down one’s walls then the often come down easily.

I think of it as saying “You’re fascinating, tell me more” or “You must be very brave” or “I (in my ignorance) has always thought about that situation in one way, but you have lived such a different life can you help me understand” with your eyes and posture and tone. If someone has held up a certain idea that such-and-such cannot be talked about then empathy and admiration go a long way in helping them to lay down that heavy load. Maybe they won’t talk about it that night, but maybe soon now that they realize it is possible, and they won’t be able to fault you for extending empathy and being curious if they don’t.

Gosh, MIke.* You’re such a big, smart, sexxy world traveler type, I’d love to see if this jibes with what you’ve figured out with your big thinkin’ brain’.

*leans forward, fills your glass, bats eyelashes.

By: Mike

Mike — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 13:38:00 +0000

I think the key to keeping these exchanges cool is having the patience to understand that you have to decode it. I think I am (and we are, generally) bad at being patient. The Buddhists believe that we’re reborn over and over again until we become a permanent part of the universe. With that long-term mindset it’s a lot easier to be patient.

By: Susan Goldstein

Susan Goldstein — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:14:11 +0000

You comment that the devil is in the “intent” . That observation is consistent with the foundation of diversity training: that when we misinterpret or misunderstand intent is when we get offended or offensive. And so multiple cultures living in close proximity need to pay attention and even explain their intentions as a way to help bridge different perceptions and values. So, “my intention in asking you this is to understand…” Etc.

Powerful stuff you are both dealing with here.