Quarter Year

In the station he rose and followed a man to a ticket counter where others stood. He waited for them to finish. Hand prints smeared the window. A customer walked away and two more slid in and another man pressed against the counter. Mike waited patiently behind, above them. A dark man with fresh-smelling hair shouldered Mike’s ribs and nudged him farther back, so he was now separated from the counter by a crowd. Victoria station would not suffocate the young traveler, he was determined. Mike grew into his frame, his wide shoulders and thick chest. He was much larger than the Indian men. He leaned into each shift of the crowd and carved a path to the front.

Later, on the ground again, Mike stared beyond his book at a child’s dirty toes wiggling at him from bare feet. She held out an open hand. He ignored the beggar and he ignored the metallic ache that arrived in his ribs and coiled there. She stood for a minute, hand out, looking at a strand of brown hair curled over Mike’s pink ear.

Bombay is fine during the day, but I haven’t gotten used to the night. I feel so vulnerable then. Really, at night, I wonder whether I’ll make it three months, and at dusk I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I pine to see Westerners; I understand why blacks in the US say there’s a race problem – when you’re the minority it’s so apparent and jarring. Each day feels like a week, that, honestly, I just want to be over. The poverty here is relentless and my wealth is relentless and I can’t close my eyes on either. What am I supposed to do with this? What good is relative fortune? I can pose all the theories I want about giving to beggars but when I shut the hotel door I’d better have it sorted out because I’m tested before I reach the street. Were I brave enough to be vulnerable I’d talk with locals and justify this travel, but I only talk to beggars. I tell them, “No,” because I don’t know what else to say.

The dirty toes turned away and she walked like a ghost with her hands down. What haunts that girl’s body is the want for little and the expectation of nothing. If only she’d be at peace, he thought. The ache smoldered.

He looked past his book now into the eyes of an Indian man suddenly seated on the ground in front of him. The beggar didn’t extend his hand; he examined Mike’s blue eyes. The man’s black hair curled over his dark ears and he looked strong in his frame with wide shoulders and thick chest, though his legs had been cut off below the knees. Crutches lay beside him. Mike knew the man was 25-years-old, and they studied each other.

“Crashing, it’s THE number one risk,” he said. “That’s factual.”

Everyone looked at this guy cockeyed trying to read if he was for real, meanwhile the instructor paused for an extraordinarily long time, perhaps taken by a chilling vision of the weekend to come. I was busy imagining what the guy thought lesser risks may be: currency devaluation, teen pregnancy or a housefire? All seem like risks, if you think big enough.

My list differed from the standard “SUVs and potholes” as well. Mine were: chickens darting into the road, rabid dogs going for your leg, hot grills crowding the street and child drivers. The instructor paused an extraordinarily long time, perhaps taken by a lovely vision of riding in Asia. The other students looked on in awe.

Yesterday, in Bali, we finally hit the road, and I was well-prepared for motorcycle safety in the third world. We rode through parts of Indonesia that reminded me of India – dirty markets, hectic streets and people dressed in drab clothes. Then we got to parts that were so remote that they didn’t remind me of anything I’ve seen before – we drove through tribal areas high on the hills where people still lived in thatched-roof huts and didn’t speak Indonesian (they spoke Balinese). Throughout the trip we had to avoid chickens, dogs, grills and child drivers.

If you’ve never encountered school children in the third world then you’re missing out. Dressed in government-issued uniforms, these kids went NUTS when they saw two white people coming down the road. They would scream “HELLO! HELLO!” and wave like miniature flight attendants on speed. Drive between two schools and you’re in a parade, waving to both sides and truly touched by the outpouring of love from the community. Azure and I screamed “HELLO! HELLO!” until we passed through, leaving the kids jacked up and incredulous: “Did you see those fucking white people!? That was awesome!” I turn to Azure on the bike, “Did you see how fucking cute those kids were!? That was awesome!” It’s genuinely exciting every time, the social version of bubble tea.

Another thrilling circumstance arose when we took a short cut and ended up lost on absolutely ruined roads, but we pulled smack into the middle of a Hindu town’s scooter-mounted holiday procession to a monkey forest. They were dressed in beautiful formal Hindu sarongs, button up shirts and head scarves. Some of the men had nice sandals and the women looked stunning. We figured out that they were headed the same direction, so we just continued among them, Az snapping photos from the back of the scooter. We chatted with a very nice young couple on the neighboring scooter as we pulled up behind a truck loaded with revelers standing in the bed and waving, “Hello!” And we smiled & waved back. The instructor wouldn’t have liked any of this.

When the group finally turned off toward the monkey forest, Azure and I were left quietly heading toward Ubud, eight-and-a-half hours into the day’s ride. Exhausted and sore-butted, we overshot the turn to Ubud by seven kilometers. At that point I doubted we would make it back to our hotel. But we did, eventually, and collapsed into bed to sleep at 8:30.

Sandal envy