When we were in the forest the other day I was getting annoyed with the mosquitoes. I wondered why they came to me more than anyone else. Azure said that she feels like she made a deal when she was born that the bugs would leave her alone (in exchange for something), so I decided that it was my time to go make a deal. I wandered off and laid down among a bunch of ferns in the deepest neighborhood of mosquitoville and meditated.
I ended up getting distracted by the ferns. I tried to sense the ferns with my eyes closed. I saw the inside of an immense cathedral, the roof made of fern fronds, it was lit up like they were stained glass. After a while I realized that the mosquitoes had completely left me alone all that time, which was unprecedented. I came to understand that the mosquitoes have been sent throughout my life to pester me about being so separated from nature. I hope I can keep my end of the agreement and that they will keep theirs.
Similarly, my blood pressure has always been an issue. Last night I decided to look at that. While meditating I tried to pick out which beat was coming from which part of my heart. I was able to distinguish three parts of my heart – the one at the top (toward my neck) sometimes being the loudest, but the lower left part also sometimes being loud, beating hard. I asked my heart to calm down a little, and it did.
As I focused on one part, I was startled by the strangest vision: a small leaf falling onto a flat rock. I’ve NEVER had a mental image that clear, and I’ve never had a mental image of that subject matter. Usually it’s a swirl of scenes, or if there’s something that arises out of the subconscious it’s some association with travel. This was different – it was like I was seeing something actually happening somewhere else.
When I focused on another part of my heart I felt a very cold wind, though I was in a room with no open doors or windows. Another moment I felt the pressure in my ear suddenly drop, then rise again, and another time I saw a bright flash of light in my left eye. Again, nothing to explain this stuff. Well, science would make an effort to explain away my experiences, but I’ve stopped respecting science as an authority over me.
What I need to do now is two things: 1) I need to pay closer attention to which part of my heart I’m focusing on when different phenomena occur. 2) I need to pay closer attention to the things that pester me. I need to look directly at them, listen to them, be open to the idea that maybe they’re delivering a message .